Friday, May 26, 2017

Pregnancy Loss Journey

How I discover myself gets pregnant
My period in December came as expected, on December 22nd. So the next cycle was supposedly on January 19th. 2 days late, I checked my urine by using a pregnancy test. At first, the result was not so clear. It’s one and half – that “half” actually came from the blurred ‘T’ line. Ok, I don’t think I’m pregnant. I put the test on the bathroom’s sink. Later in the afternoon, I realized that both red lines on ‘C’ and ‘T’ becomes clear… I think I’m pregnant
That evening, we went over to my in-laws’. I dunno what’s wrong with my stomach. I think I got diarrhea. Too much fruits or probably too much milk?
The next morning, I run another test and it turn out negative. But then, I realized that actually I’ve bought a wrong test. It was ovulation test. My mistake! Took one more round (obviously it wasn’t based on my 1st urine) but…. Alhamdulillah the result is POSITIVE!! Yeayyy what a great news!

My experience in KPJ Ampang Puteri Specialist Hospital
On January 24th, I went to Ampang Puteri Hospital. Why Ampang Puteri? It is because I’ve done several check-up there. And last time I checked with Dr Norazlin in June 2016; she found out that I actually got cyst on my left ovary and also fibroids. She guarantees and told me not to worry as the cyst is not big and once I got pregnant, the cyst will recover by itself. Really?
Unfortunately she’s not around, then I met Dr Noor Shaheeran. The doctor has done the normal abdomen ultrasound but there’s no sign of baby. The cyst is still at 2cm but the fibroids increased to 3cm this time. Alternatively, we go for other option through blood test (for BHGC – Human Chorionic Gonadotropin – detected in some pregnancy tests). The results should be ready after 2hours, but I’ve waited one whole day just to know am I pregnant or not. Then later at the late evening, the nurse in-charge told me that the result reading was too high. They are unable to read it. Whattt?? Too high??? And they ask me to come again on January 27th. For the record, I paid @RM342.30 for this visit.
During the next visit, I managed to see Dr Norazlin. She’s done the pelvic ultrasound (or maybe transvaginal… I’m not sure the medical term for that). Alhamdulillah… for the 1st time in my life I can see my little tiny baby. He or she was only 4mm big. That’s mean; I’m already 5-6 week pregnant! The fibroid grows on the outside of the uterus. InsyaAllah it won’t affect or harm the baby. As for this particular visit, I’ve to pay another RM 238.70…
I don’t think I can afford paying this private hospital, then I’m asking helps from my brother-in-law who currently doing his houseman-ship at Hospital Putrajaya or HPJ (a public/government hospital); he only able to slot my ONG & Endocrine appointments on February 17th and 23rd. hmmmm
Both government and private clinics are only within 500-600m from my house. But since the government’s maternal and child health clinic (KKIA) only will entertain you when you’re at 8-10 weeks of pregnancy; some colleague suggested me to go to Klinik Famili Assyifa. Two packages available;
   Package A : @RM 180 for Pink Book + RM 95 monthly or
   Package B : @RM 280 for Pink Book + RM 120 monthly               (with 3D/4D/5D scans and medicines)

What to do/bring upon registration at KKIA
      1)      Come at/before 7am; from Monday to Thursday only
      2)      Bring your IC
      3)      Bring your electricity bills with address (or any proof that telling you are staying nearby that clinic)
      4)      And… cash of RM1

Since pregnant…
      1)      I always hungry
      2)      I took a lot of ice due to body heat. No heart or chest burn
      3)      No morning sickness, no vomit
      4)      Easily gets tired
      5)      Always farts
      6)      Always had a stomach cramp
      7)      Put on weight, increased to 48 from 43kg in my 7th week
      8)      Bigger belly, increased in 10cm
      9)      Milk intolerance including Anmum, Dutch Lady and Goat Milk – tend to get diarrhea even for small consumptions

The sad story begins
Honestly I think I was tired. Too much house-chores and travelling. Maybe?
I had 3x spotting or bleeding on February 18th. The 1st stain was in the afternoon, and the 2nd one was around 4pm. When the 3rd time happens, around 8pm…. I think this must be serious, even though there’s no pain. From my in-laws’, we rushed to Labor Room at HPJ that night but for early pregnancy, they unable to assist and asked us to go to Pusat Bersalin Berisiko Rendah (PBBR) at Precinct 8 instead. Treated by Dr Ili that night, and undergo the heart beat and pelvic ultrasound tests. The nurse thought she heard 2 hearts beat… probably twins? And, the size of the sac has been increased to 1.16cm. Still, they cannot identify the reason why I bleedings.
Around 1am, they rushed me back to HPJ by ambulance and I was admitted at ONG wards. It was my 2nd time ridden in an ambulance and probably my 3rd time admitted to hospitals. It is not something I can be proud of. But I’m sure at least I can proud with myself when I managed to face this circumstance alone when my beloved husband have to leave to Yamaguchi, Japan and his flight was exactly departs at 8°clock that morning. “Stay strong”… Yeap, I really need that kind of courage.
We’ve done another ultrasound… andandand… the sac was empty. I can’t stop myself from crying that day. I felt so depressed. My family in-law came accompany me, but all I need is my husband,,, L All doctor are mentioning the same thing “it’s 50-50” until on February 20th, there’s one old lady doctor announced that my baby is gone. I got discharged on the same day.

Complete miscarriage
During the following appointment on February 23rd, the ultrasound result shows that the sac is still at the upper side in the uterus. Will takes more days before it naturally terminated. The doctor doesn’t prefer to do the D&C procedure, so do I... when I heard it may be painful.
A day later, after 4days of MC; I went to work as usual. We had a farewell party that day. As one of the Sports Club committee members, I had so many things to be done. Nothing happened in the morning but later in the evening around 5pm… I had a very discomfort and slight pain in the abdomen. So I took a rest, rub with some stomach ointment, and had light meals before driving home. Before I discovered, the traffic was so damn bad that day. It was the worst traffic jammed ever. And my stomach gets too pain to handle. For the first time in my life, I’m crying while driving.
I thought I was suffered from “bentan” or relapse (?)… so once I reached home; I took a quick shower and put on some warm clothes + blanket. I feel so cold, shiver and painful… but still want to watch TV huhu. Until before midnight; suddenly I thought I was having a heavy period, so I rushed to the bathroom to check but all I discovered was a palm-size of embryo. It’s around 8cm long. And… the process was easy and no bleeding. Then I realize, this is what people called as "contractions".

Honestly, I don’t know what to do. Hence, I packed ‘it’ in a food container and temporarily keep in the fridge before send to the HPJ on the next day. The embryo turns lighter. Done the final ultrasound at PBBR later in the evening (cause I went shopping first before precede to HPJ without knowing that I already put myself in danger) and the result is : Complete Miscarriage!

to be continued with the Confinement experiences

No comments:

Post a Comment